God doth wish to lighten your (difficulties). [Holy Quran:
Nisaa 4:28]
An
Honorable Household
If
a young adult or an adult man or woman does not marry, it seems to be rather
impossible to remain chaste and free of corruption. It is a difficult problem to
find a young adult out of millions, not married, yet be chaste and sinless. If
we find a youth who is truly chaste and not married, then we may say she/he is
one of God's Saints. Avoiding commitment of sins, remaining immune from
corruption, being safe from the outburst of the instincts, and not being married
at the same time is something only the Prophet Joseph could do.A
house in which an unmarried man and a woman live is not safe from corruption. If
the man has no wife and the woman no husband, and their sexual instincts are
alive with the pressure of lust, then those two have various mental, family and
social problems and live in corruption. Marriage is a natural and divine law. It
makes some problems easier to solve which are concerned with keeping the youth
chaste and pious.The
establishment of a household in society must be founded on a healthy and
peaceful basis. The couple live together by marrying and respecting each other's
rights. Wherever a Muslim household is established it must be based on God's
revelation and in the remembrance of Him day and night.(Lit
is such a Light) In houses, which God Hath permitted to be raised to honor; for
the celebration, In them, of His name: in them is He glorified in the mornings
and In the evenings, (again and again), [Holy Quran: Nur 24:36]In
such a house, with such attributes, one finds a household of believers in which
worshipping God flourishes. God has ordered a marriage to take place there and
the couple obeys all divine, humane laws. The Glorious Quran orders that
marriage should take place so that a man and a woman's problems are solved
through the realization of this tradition and they - being the future teachers
of some children - will remain incorruptible.A
man and his wife establish a mutual life. Being in harmony with each other they
make a home for God's remembrance. In such a house, the couple are real servants
of God and their offspring are the fruits of virtue. Their behavior and morality
are signs of divine etiquette and the traditions of the Prophets. When a
believing couple get married, they both feel responsible to follow the divine
laws. They find each other to be a helper to the other. They are two loving
friends, two intimate companions, two sources of faith and two pillars of love
and kindness. Thus they protect life from difficulties. If a difficulty should
arise, they solve it easily and confront it with the arms of patience and
fortitude.The Worst People
Living
in seclusion and not having a companion leads to many difficulties. It causes
depression, despondency, nervous disorders and all types of mental and physical
disorders. Being alone causes one to enter the world of imagination and vain
thoughts and succumb to mental and moral illnesses. The Prophet (Pbuh) said:Most
of the People of the Fire on the Day of Judgment are those who refused to marry
and start a family."[Marriage in Islam, p.26]Also
the Prophet (Pbuh) said:The
worst of your dead ones are the celibates. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.100, pp.220-221]In
another tradition he mentioned:The
most ignoble of your dead ones are the celibates. [Ibid]In
a wise speech he said:The
most Satanic ones amongst you are the celibates. Celibacy is the brother of
Satan.[Ibid]In
some heavenly words he said:The
best of my nation are the married ones and the worst are the celibates.[Ibid]The
Prophet (Pbuh) also said:If
the dead celibates return to this world, they will surely marry. [Marriage in
Islam, p.27]And
in another tradition the Prophet (Pbuh) said:God
curses the man who refuses to take a wife. [Ibid]
Why does the Noble Prophet of Islam interpret the celibates to be dwellers of
the Fire, ignoble ones, brothers of Satan, the wicked, the seditious, and the
cursed? This is because those who do not marry are forced into corruption,
sedition, sin and make problems for their society and the family. In all aspects
of life, they cause a lot of trouble.
According to the Quranic verses and Prophetic traditions, marriage endows humans
with nobleness and respectfulness. Marriage keeps man safe fromGod
doth wish to lighten your (difficulties) [Holy Quran: Nisaa 4:28]The Blooming of Talents
If a young man and woman marry based upon their nature and follow God's
commandment and the divine Prophets' ways, undoubtedly the way for the
blossoming of hidden talents will be opened up and the tree of life will bear
excellent fruits. They will be saved from the peak of God’s Wrath, a seditious
nature, the dangerous clutches of Satan and God's curse - all being the
consequences of being celibate. Marrying results in the following: peace of
mind; an inner feeling of security; overcoming the problems of celibacy;
arriving at a heavenly, angelic environment; the proper background for correct
ways of thinking; and control of the outburst of the instincts and lust.
Many of the distinguished men of letters, Islamic scholars whose names have been
recorded in the history of the world, have practically made progress of 100
years in only one night. In general, these individuals have attained lofty
positions in science and knowledge in the shade of marriage which brings peace
of mind. Their names are on the tip of everyone's tongue due to their knowledge,
piety, chastity, nobleness, service to others and servitude to God.
In the book entitled “Zendegany Ayatullah Boroojerdy”7, we read:
" In 1935 at the age of twenty-two, he received a letter from his father
asking him to return to Boroojerd. He thought that his father wanted to send him
to Najaf - the largest Shiite seminary existed- to continue his education.
However, upon his return and after visiting his father and other relatives
contrary to his expectations, he observed that they had arranged for his
marriage. However, he became sad. In reply to his father who noticed his sadness
and asked him about the reason for it, he answered that he had been studiously
acquiring knowledge with peace of mind. But now he noted that marriage would
hold him up.
So his father told him that if he followed his orders, there would be hope that
God would grant him an opportunity to reach his lofty goals. His father told him
to beware of not marrying, because it was probable he would not get anywhere no
matter how studious he was. This removed all his doubts. After marrying and
staying there a while, he returned to Isfahan where he continued his studies and
tutorials for another five years.In
Isfahan his loyal and well-matched spouse provided the means for his peace,
progress, comfort and security, as she was a kind friend, a sympathetic
assistant and a calm servant. He was so busy studying that sometimes he would
study
The late scholar Tabataba-ey, the author of the Holy Quran's interpretation
named Al-Mizan acknowledges that part of his scientific and spiritual progress
was due to his noble wife. Marriage is a source of peace and security and it
provides a background for the development of talents and the realization of
perfection.Striving for the Well-Being of the Household and Home
In
addition to positive worldly gains, marriage and maintaining a spouse and
attending to the children have serious spiritual benefits. Working and striving
to provide sustenance for the wife and children are considered to be a wonderful
form of worship being equal to engaging in war in the way of God. The following
has been narrated from the Immaculate Imams:One
who works really hard to provide for his family's sustenance from what is lawful
is similar to one who fights in a war in the way of God. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.101,
p.72]It
is very difficult to obey God's order instructing the mother to respect her
children's rights, the wife to respect her husband's rights, or the husband to
respect those of his family and provide for their spiritual needs. This too is
considered to be worship and deserves the rewards of the Hereafter. Raising a
good generation with children who are good-doers and excellent offspring is
essential and satisfies God. It is of utmost importance to keep the household
safe from corruption and to provide the means for growth, education and
development of the family. This is the best type of worship of God.The
Fourth Imam (Pbuh) has wisely stated:Whoever
provides the best means for the spiritual and material needs of his wife and
children is closer than others to attaining God's gratitude.[Bihar al-Anwar,
v.101, p.73]
Anyhow, the society is the product of the family. All people who serve a nation,
whether it be the president, minister, or a Member of Parliament have their
roots in the house and the family. The home and those who manage it are the main
factors in their education and development. Home is like a piece of land which
if separated from the truth will be like a salt desert with no flowers
blossoming. And if connected to the truth, it is logical to expect flowers in
bloom.
Man's success or failure is primarily originated from parent’s conduct. If
they strive for their children's success, they have performed a major act of
worship and will eternally benefit from marriage. If, however, they are the
cause of their offspring's failure, they have not only benefited from the holy
tree of marriageThe
roots of anyone's failure exist within their mother, and so does their blessed
fortune. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.5, p.157.]And
as the great poet Kalim Kashany said: The only thing that comes out of the jug
is what's inside it.Now
it is up to the parents to fill the hearts, the minds and the brains of their
children with whatever they have.Establish the Loftiest Goal for Marriage
One's goal for marriage should be spiritual, holy and pure. One must marry in
order to obey God's order and the Prophets' manner and to provide for the
prosperity of his/her spouse as well as divinely raising children.
Both men and women should prepare themselves for engaging in a great act of
worship when they marry. They should consider God's approval of their union and
they should realize that through their loin and uterus, they carry God's loan.
They must know that the child is only God's trust which is the guest of the
father's loin for a short time and then is the guest of the mother's uterus for
nearly six to nine months. During this time, the child with no option absorbs
his/her father's characteristics and traits through a God-given property. It has
been narrated that the Prophet (Pbuh) would sometimes let pregnant women come
and watch the wars against God's enemies. They would witness the glorious scenes
of the Holy War and sword-fighting in God's way, and hear the warriors shouting
divine slogans.
All this was for the development of the fetus in the uterus through what he/she
heard and saw, and thus a well-bred, brave, ambitious child hearing divine
sounds in the womb would develop.
Have you not heard that God ordered forty days of fasting for the Prophet (Pbuh)
before the formation of the existence of his daughter Fatimah (Pbuh) in his
loin. Then he ate heavenly foods for the meal on the last night of fasting. The
sperm was then transferred to the mother's womb.
Do not let your eyes be the judge for marriage. Do not let lust be the
matchmaker for marriage. Do not let the goal for marriage be getting wealthy by
either family. Do not let the goal of marriage be seeing a beautiful face or a
deceiving look. It has been proven that if these are the goals for marriage,
such marriages do not have a good ending and bear little or no fruit.Let
spirituality, God and worshipping Him, striving to respect your spouse's rights,
raising good children and attaining God's pleasure be your goals in marriage so
that it bears eternal fruits. Let lawful lust, consent and leisure be subject to
these lofty and divine goals so that you can gain complete pleasure and rewards
of the Hereafter, too. If two individuals are divinely joined, theirIt
is a religiously lawful requirement to protect the spouse's honor in front of
the children and their relatives. And it is divinely forbidden to belittle one's
spouse. Muslim men and women must consider the marriage of the Commander of the
Faithful (Imam Ali) and Hazrat Fatimah Zahrah (Pbuh) as their model. This lofty
marriage, which was contracted for God's sake, was based on heavenly goals and
resulted in immaculate and divine offspring. The following verses have been
interpreted to refer to this marriage in Shiite traditions:He
combined the two seas between which there is a distance. They do not exceed each
other's limits (mingle) and pearls and coral come from these two seas."
[Holy Quran: Rahman 55:19-23]What
is meant by the two seas is the Commander of the Faithful and Hazrat Fatimah
Zahrah being two seas of wisdom, patience, faith and insight. What is meant by
distance is the Noble Prophet of Islam Muhammad (Pbuh); and what is meant by
pearls and coral are their offspring the Imams Hassan and Husayn (Pbuh). [Nur
al-Thaqalayn, v.5, p.191, tradition 19]The
family structure must be purely divine and Islamic so that it can attract and
absorb God's benevolence. If undesirable and ungodly customs, Satanic conditions
or that part of the culture of the Age of Ignorance which the Prophet (Pbuh) had
ordered to be abolished be not avoided in marriage, then evil will appear in the
marriage and this tree will bear sour fruits. The Prophet (Pbuh) ordered:
Everything should be abolished from the Age of Ignorance except the Islamic
traditions. [Bihar al-Anwar, v.77, ch.6, p.128, tradition 32.]The Family Structure in the West
The
family structure in Europe and America lacks any foundation or content and is a
faulty structure. Following the example of the family structure in the West is
incorrect and it paves the way to ruin one's life.
The Westerners do not have pure and holy goals in marriage. Lust and
satisfaction of the instincts is the reason why they marry. Noble and pure men
and women are few in number there, so that is why corruption is overwhelming in
Europe and America.
Most men and many women in the West marry after periods of unlawful sexual
relationships and usually put their offspring in day care centers. Then they
take them from the nursery school void of paternal and maternal love and pure
emotions and they let them join in any type of corruption. They send them to the
schools so that they apparently learn good behavior and become familiar with a
few words. Then at the age of eighteen, they force them out of the home and
leave them up to the environment and the society.
The ethics that they teach at home or school is how to be a gentleman, how to
earn money and know about economics. They pay no attention to the inner facts
and inner roots. Westerners are unable to raise human beings.
Is this not obvious from the fact that when they establish a society or a
government, the society is a source of corruption and the government is the
primary means of exploitation and colonization of the oppressed people on earth.
The crimes committed by the graduates from Western schools and universities
cannot be compensated for until the Day of Judgment.
If they are polite and calm for a while, it is because they have not yet found
anything to capture. Their story is like that of the man who told his friend
about his polite cat which held a lit candle and guided guests to their seats at
a table full of delicious foods. The friend said one cannot trust the cat's
politeness. He added that he is ready to prove it. When in practice, the cat was
seen with a candle light guiding the guests and not greedy for the food on the
table, the friend took a mouse out of his pocket and freed it in the middle of
the table. The cat dropped the candle and jumped on the table on a wild mouse
chase destroying all the food and ruining the party. The policy of the
Westerners is similar to that of the cat. As long as they do not see their
desired food, they are calm and polite. But once they see the oil, gold or other
mines of the weaker nations, they drop the torch of politeness and jump like
voracious animals to devour all material and spiritual goods and start a blood
bath for material gain.
The abundance of corruption, unlawful lust, murder and looting, prostitution and
other evil deeds in the West is a direct result of the loose family structure
there. If the houses in Europe or in the United States were filled with
knowledge and God's remembrance and worship, then their products would have been
noble humans with heavenly principles of morality. But since these homes are
void of truth and God, their fruits are sour, stinking or tasteless. One cannot
use such a system as a model, and those who do so will become even worse than
the Westerners.